AKA_Monet...
...after reading your post it brought to the surface the secrets of my own life that I've had hidden in the closet, that I was ashamed of, that I was afraid that those closest to me now wouldn't be able to accept. However, after reading your post and several other posts on this board, I see that I'm not alone in the illnesses of our mind. If there is any area that the enemy would love to take control over is my mind. One day I'm up and fine, one moment I'm up and I'm fine...however, within minutes the world around starts to turn gray, starts to become a sight of failure, disappointment, insecurities...I went through counseling in high school because I was suicidal and suffered from an eating disorder. I tried (with no success) to kill myself because I couldn't handle the pressure of being a "thin", "outgoing", "intelligent" and "beautiful" teenage girl that was popular at my school. I struggled with issues from my past (being sexually abused) and having a strained relationship with my family. At that point I didn't know what to do...to this day, it's a mind battle. A battle to keep my thoughts pure, clean, honesty, positive....to see the best in everything...no matter who dark/bleak it may be.
But you know you touched on something and I have to agree 100% because that's what I have to do to keep going.
Quote:
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if He did not have some kind of important stuff that He wanted me to fulfill
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then I don't know where I would be.
Thanks for your realness/honesty.