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[QUOTE=PhrozenGenius]... If you constantly tell us, "N**** I don't need you," or "I'm an independent woman" then we naturally are going to be sick of hearing it because it's always confrontational. In confrontation we go into fight ot flight mode, when we're tired of fighting, we naturally fly away. Immediately thereafter we become the "Triflin' black man." QUOTE]
I'm really, really bored of the stereotypes that Black women are bitter or confrontational when it comes to men. So many non-Black women I've known fit this mold but don't get stuck with the same labels.
Yaya Nuri made a good point: while some Black men have ended up being transient figures in the lives of the families they help to create (through their own decisions or systemic factors), Black women have largely stayed put and raised our Black children. Many of us have had to be independent in order to survive. And hard lives and struggles often lead to bitterness, no matter the race. Phrozen Genius, you suggest that's why men "fly away"-- I counter that Black women become bitter in response to Black men flying away or acting "trifling." A Black woman who is in a happy and healthy relationship is as warm and loving as a woman of any other color in a happy and healthy relationship.
I've heard Black men justify their interracial relationships by saying: Black women have too many kids out of wedlock, are focused on material wealth, not physically fit, uneducated, and ignorant. It would be less offensive if those men would just say, "I fell in love with this non-Black woman" instead of stereotyping all Black women as "chickenheads" to justify their selection of a S.O. What about the mothers and sisters of these men? Were or are they chickenheads? Black men should appreciate more than anyone else the diversity and beauty of Black women.
I also chuckle at men who exclusively date interracially and blame it on Black women (I've known several) -- what self-denial! In my experience, these men have lacked self-confidence and had tremendous self-loathing. If a Black man says he can't find any Black women of quality, I believe he is purposely overlooking them in order to find non-Black women for his own purposes.
I have been involved with men of all colors, and several of the relationships I look on most fondly were interracial relationships. But I'm not turning around and criticizing Black men to make some pathetic justification as to why I "was forced" to date White or Asian men. I feel that I don't need to justify attraction and love. Black men don't need to justify love-- if that is what they have for their non-Black mate-- but more to the point, they also don't need to typecast Black women as mean, confrontational, or ignorant.
Just my 2 cents.
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