Quote:
Originally posted by Dionysus
I don't think it is just that easy...
I don't know about the details in smiley's situation...but what are you supposed to do when your mother cries to you and say that you're not only her daughter, but like a best-friend and a sister?
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I'll just come out and say it -- this isn't acceptable. I know it happens all the time, but parents should NEVER do this. Your kid isn't your best friend. She isn't your sister. She is NOT there to meet the needs of the parent, PERIOD. She is there to grow up and be an adult and have a life of her own. The parent's job is to help make that happen.
I know I'm lucky because my mom and I are very close. Aside from being upset when I moved out, she's never pulled any of this crap with me. I know she was bummed when I moved 1000 miles away from her, but she's cool.
Here's the thing: if your parents are putting all this crap on you, like crying and saying you're their greatest pal or refusing to talk to people who have moved away, they are being manipulative and SELFISH. Plain and simple, they're trying to manipulate you into giving them what they want, which has nothing to do with you and your life and everything to do with their own desires and plans.
When people are manipulating you, you have two choices: you can refuse to be manipulated and go do your own thing OR you can give the manipulator what she wants, which reinforces the behavior, making it more likely that she will continue to manipulate you in the future. It's that simple. When my dog begs for food, you're damn right I'm not going to give him any because that would teach him that begging for food results in getting food and he'd just do it more often. Dealing with people isn't any more complicated than that.
Doing your own thing isn't always easy, but it's the only way you're going to be able to have your own life.