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LMAO with all of these. Here's one. Its kind of lame, but oh well. Three people die on xmas eve. They were not really the best of people, but St. Peter didn't want to send anyone to hell on xmas eve so he said "go back to earth, find something that relates to xmas and you'll get in." The first guy comes back with a xmas tree ornament. So he gets in. The second guy comes in with some little silver bells so he gets in. The third guy comes back with a pair of panties. St. Peter is like "what?? what do these have to with xmas?" The guy looked straight at him and said "they're Carol's."
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