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Old 05-24-2006, 12:02 PM
Marie Marie is offline
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Join Date: Jul 2001
Posts: 571
I say yes, men and women can be friends.

I think that there are a couple of different types of relationships to consider. First look at men that you have become friends with through your current or ex-boyfriends. I dated one guy for nearly 6 years, and in that time his friends also became mine. I feel very close to some of them (like brothers), and though I'm no longer with that person, they are still in my life as friends. Note: The realtionship btwn my ex and I ended very peacefully, so there are no hard/akward feelings in the group. This may also work for the ex's of your female friends, but I tend not to get that close to any of the men in my friends' lives. Its a bit different b/c guys tend to not hang out w/their girl and her friends as much as women hang out with their guy and his friends.

Also, consider men that you meet that are already involved with someone. I am very good friends with some of my male co-workers. However, most of them are married or engaged, so there is no question on either side of where the boundaries in our relationship lie.

Furthermore, think of men who you simply are not attracted to. There are tons of situations (esp. at work) where there are men who just aren't what you're looking for, and you're not what they're looking for (differernt tastes, different race, different religion, different values, etc). It doesn't necessarily mean that there is no room for a friendship. For instance, one of my friends is a great guy. He's a lot of fun, has a good heart, and isn't that bad to look at. However, he's Indian and practices Hindu, and he's looking for a girl that is the same. While I'm not opposed to dating/marrying outside of my race, I do want a man who is a Christian, so... it's not gonna work. We're very cool, but it's just never going to go down, and we both know this.

Finally, I think that you can be attracted to someone & they be attracted to you, and you just opt to never act on that. Maybe its a friend of your older brother, or a cute guy who's just a little to young, or whatever. Just b/c you like them does not mean that you have no other choice but to act on that feeling, and just b/c you choose not to act on that feeling does not mean that they are automatically banished from your circle. My best friend has been attracted to one of her friends for years. I think maybe he liked her to start, but didn't get up the nerve to approach her. Now they both like each other, but individually don't want their existing friendship to change. He dates other girls, she dates other guys. They talk to one another about their relationships and other aspects of life just the same as if she and I were talking. They both know the situation, and are cool with it as it is.
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