Quote:
Originally posted by Gods Ivy
There should not have to be a choice but would we want to come second to our mate’s fraternity? No one wants to feel second. I think it depends on the circumstance. If you are just dating someone and they make these depends then yes there is a problem but if you have been together for years and all you do is spend time with your sorors and less with your mate, then I can see it being justified. However it should not be an ultimatum. There should be a discussion and then a compromise that does not leave both people unhappy and or one person happy. That is what relationships are about compromise and I think some times us as women we feel like oh no he didn’t and immediately jump on the defensive. Men need attention and love just like we do and if we don’t nurture that, they become what we don’t want, dogs are worse. Some times we have to lead the discursion into compromise, trust me-it will not always be the man leading the household. It is shared.
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Soror, I understand what you are saying and I agree somewhat, but in terms of PV, she is NOT a member of any organization, so her time should not be consumed with any sort of activities pertaining to such. Her SO is asking her prior to membership. So, look at it this way: what would you have done had your man suggested that you forgo ever becoming a member of this sisterhood for him? Could you have done that?
I agree that a man needs as much attention as a woman, and would not want to be runner-up to her sorority. Additionally, as life progresses, I (personally) don't know many Sorors that spend
more time together. If that's the case, there may be more to the story than community service.... I LOVE my Sorors DEARLY, but we all need a break every now and then. Aside from that, we work, attend school, have other actvities, and have personal relationships to foster, as I would expect young men in fraternities to have the same responsibilties. So, the continual use of "I was with my Sorors/frat" may not be a viable excuse to me.
Ultimately, such a request seems unreasonable and it's a personal choice. I know what I would do....