The other day, I was out at the bars and the police busted me for violating curfew because they thought I was 14. I had to spend the night in juve lockup and they all laughed at me when I showed them my license because, well, it's understandable that they wouldn't believe that horrible picture really is me and then accused me of carrying my mother's license and trying to pass it off as my own. So then my mom came and posted bond but they thought she was my grandmother and she was so flattered by that she went out for a drink with the officer, but then they carded her at the bar and busted her for underage drinking so now she's in juve with me and I don't know what we're going to do because I don't have access to makeup or a professional-looking pencil skirt or anything, but I might be able to use the shank I fashioned out of a comb to create a nice updo, so maybe that will help.
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A hiney bird is a bird that flies in perfectly executed, concentric circles until it eventually flies up its own behind and poof! disappears forever....
-Ken Harrelson
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