Quote:
Originally posted by SummerChild
Ok, so the Marriage Recipe thread and its discussion of pre-nups got me to thinking...
1. In this day and age when folk are getting married older and more established (in terms of property acquisition), etc. do you do the title transfer of your separately-acquired assets into each other's joint names after marriage? What would you do?
Ladies, do you expect him to do so or can he keep his stuff in his name alone? Men, do you expect her to do so or can she keep her stuff in her name alone?
2. For those who are for pre-nups, are you also for keeping all of your separately-acquired property in your name and not mingling it or its profits with the property that you acquire together?
3. When you pay the bills, is it 50/50 or per the share of income that each brings into the house?
4. Is the way that you deal with the management of finances indicative of your trust or love for the other person?
SC
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As a person who is married, I must say the responses are interesting....but these are MY OPINIONS and what WE do....
1. When we got married his father bought us a home and it was in my husband's name only. I was ok with that. However, after some time we were both on the title so now it's 50/50. In our new home *I* own the house but he shares the title. If we should split I have no problem with a 50-50 split. So I guess I'm saying I'm ok with any arrangement as long as it's fair.
2.I have no problem with siging a pre-nup ONLY IF you have substantial assets that you want to maintain separately. However, in my case no pre-nup.
3. In our house my huband deposits around 60% of his income to our joint account. Now Imma get a little heated so excuse me ladies....When we got married, I THOUGHT that we would share a joint account and deposit equally into it. (even if we maintained separate accts. I expected equal donation to the joint) My husband has refused for years to have a ONE joint acct...ok...but yet he will go out pay blanket bills wothout assessing our budget this in turn effects the joint. (Now I direct deposit my monies into our joint ) or MY MONEY. Now he uses the phrase *but its our money no matter what account it's in* however, when I ask him for the card to access *our acct.* I get the riot act over it. Quite frankly I am tired of that sh*t. It's like he wants to manage our finances but yet I end up paying what needs to be paid after he fu*ks up (he gives me the money of course). I left out alot...post would be too long..
to make a long story short, even if you discuss how you will do things it still may not pan out but still have the discussion! This was my greatest mistake. which leads to the last question ....
4. yes, because we as humans will use that as a tool for determining how well one makes decisions, if a man/woman is a good provider, and if she/he can financially take of you and your children should something occur or not. and we may even compare that person to a parent or sibling who is effective and look to the other person as unstable, ungiving, or reckless. This could lead to depression, affect sex, happiness/moods, and overall feelings about the relationship. No money can make you fall outta love real quick if the man/woman can't handle their business...TRUST ME I KNOW!!!