[korkscru]

I'm from the south (South Carolina) so I've heard it ALL. I tell my clients and my children that my momma "wasn't no joke". She was full of fire and she was very consistent with her discipline. Heck, I got beatings until I was 17-years-old (with the extension cord during my teen years). But here are some things that my mom would say. I find them really funny now, but they sure weren't funny then.

GIRL, IF YOU DON'T STOP, THEY GONE HAVETO CALL THE POLICE FOR ME AND THE FUNERAL HOME FOR YOU.;

ARE YOU CALLING ME A LIAR (and you KNOW that you wanted to say yes---now THIS should be a classic).;

I AIN'T GOT NOTHING TO DO WITH ______. YOU MY CHILD AND YOU GONE DO WHAT I TELL YOU TO DO.;

YOU AIN'T GOT NO ROOM. ALL THE ROOMS IN THIS HOUSE ARE MINE.;

I'M GONE BE ALL OVER YOU LIKE WHITE ON RICE.;

DON'T DO WHAT I SAID, DO WHAT I SAY (WTF?);

WELL, IF YOU CAN'T FOLLOW MY RULES, YOU CAN LEAVE. AND LEAVE WITH EVERYTHING THAT YOU BROUGHT.;

I'M GONE CHANGE MY NAME FROM "MAMA" TO SOMETHING ELSE (this is after I've called her over and over and over again).;

I'M GETTING SICK AND TIRED OF TALKING TO YOU. THE TALKING IS OVER----GET THE BELT (or whatever "weapon" that she would choose).;

Oh there are many, many more, but I just can't think right now.