I wouldn't be offended at all, or think it odd if I was discussing college plans with someone and they just out and out asked if I was a part of the greek system. Or if you feel this could potentially make someone who wasn't uncomfortable, like the post above says--ask what activities they were involved in, but also specify--say like "were you involved in any activities like campus tour guides or a sorority and did you find it more difficult to manage your course load with these activities" --Bring the focus back to school, they'll like that.
If recommendations are what you are after as well, I'd suggest making contact with the local alumna chapters of the various organizations.
Good luck!
Amy
[This message has been edited by amycat412 (edited April 11, 2001).]