There are these "courses" called "marriage enrichment" that couples can take. Most of them are religious-based. Some are secular.
This one is Christian-based:
Marriage Partnership
This one is Secularly-based:
The Gottman Institute
There are plenty of other ones. Just Google-search.
Anyhow, the thing I find disheartening is the lack of "maritial support" in all our respective historically African American organizations and churches.
Now, I am not trying to bash folks who have had issues in their situations, but what I am trying to say is that "where is the support" for those who want "make it" in their relationships? Where do they go other than when the problems get too tough to deal with?
I've been married for almost 3 years. We barely knew each other. And we eloped... His mother still has issues with me... And it has been a steep learning curve. But it has been some of the best years of my life, so far and I cannot imagine life without him. He's a good man. And, wow, I have dated some pretty chitty dudes, so I do know what a good man is like.
And where I live, it's tough to be with a Black man. So few of them, so many women--many not African American runnin' up under them and feeding egos, and life in general that gets to folks.
But, walking in the door, we already come at a deficit. Hardly any support for "SUCCESSFUL RELATIONSHIP"--what is our paradigm? Who do WE have to "model" and "follow"--if not our folks, then who? And on television, not everything is what it seems...
Anywhoo: Congrats to Bajan!!! I am so happy for you... The best thing you can do is not only educate yourself about relationships in general, but to educate each other!!!