I'm hoping that a long engagement will help us work out a few kinks in the planning process as well as our relationship. I think that the number of us ladies that are engaged to be married is a positive thing. Marriage is definitely not just for white people. I do believe that with some patience and prayer relationships should be able to prosper (God knows i need patience with this man sometimes). Sadly people romantize the idea of marriage and picture it as a skip through the daisies. I love this man with everything I have but I refuse to let myself be taken for granted. I try to do everything that a good woman does but the minute that he lapses and starts to think that my actions are guaranteed I go on strike.
My cousin (a male) is having problems in his marriage. Unfortunately his wife does not appreciate the type of man that he is. She had the nerve to tell him that he doesn't get credit for the things he does for his family because it's stuff he is suppose to be doing anyway. Obviously she's never heard of positive reinforcement. He's not rich, scholarly or physically affectionate, but he's a good, hardworking man who loves his family and shows that love through his actions. What she needs is a man who doesn't care to go to his daughter's basketball games or care that they get shoes or anything of the sort. When she gets that she will realize what it is that she had.
To us ladies getting married to fabulous black men, i charge us with the responsibility of loving our men and appreciating their worth, while maintaining our self-respect and dignity.
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Originally posted by DC_Zeta1920
A long engagement is not a bad thing. That will give you time to figure out the expenses for the wedding if you all choose to have a big one, deciding to purchase a home, etc.
And I agree, we have pray for strength. There have been many times I wanted to yell, especially recently at the rep from my venue, who neglected to inform me of certain details until 6 months later. I lost my deposit and thank God no other fees were paid, but there was no way I could continue doing business.
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