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Originally posted by Exquisite5
WHAT.I.AM.GOING.TO.SAY.IS.GOING.TO.BE.UNPOPULAR.
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I AGREE WITH THIS 1908%
Quote:
Originally posted by Exquisite5
I think alot of this has to do with the sexual revolution. I think white America bought into the sexual revolution LONG Black before America did. Most white men, I think, are already adjusted to a woman being sexually free and can actually have a relationship with a woman, and see her as a potential mate if he falls in love with her, EVEN IF she gave it up a little easily in the beginning.
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Moreover, we many African American women may have gotten caught up back in the day with unplanned pregnancies and other items with that so called "experimentation"--due to this "revolution".
Quote:
Originally posted by Exquisite5
However, the sexual revolution took hold in Black America a little slower, and even slower when it comes to the mindsets of Black men. So while Black women are getting degreed up and enjoying their sexual freedom many Black men still hold against the very women they are sleeping with and honestly developing feelings for, the circumstances of their first hook up. I know of numerous sitations at my HBCU law school where a couple hooks up kind of casually, they BOTH develop feelings, but the man just can't get over the fact that the interaction started with sex that was more casual than not. I truly know guys who started out having casual sex with a girl, really grew to love her, but won't make her is gal let alone his wife because he says, "I can't turn a h* into a housewife." Now, clearly these women aren't whores, but some Black men, I truly believe, can't get over the fact that women own their sexuality and sometimes <GASP> have sex for fun too.
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Moreover, it is the classic wanting the "cake" and "eating it", too syndrome, along with "why buy the cow, when you can get the milk for free" attitude... Oh, they wanna sleep with you and get it on and say just about anything so that you will believe them. Hayle, you may wanna sleep with them! But the minute a woman starts talking about something more than "friends" with meaningfulness--oh, misogyny sets in. Alice Walker talks a bit about that in "You Can't Keep a Good Woman Down" and the views of Black women by Black men and its discrepancy when it comes to pornography... Oh they be lookin' and probably touchin', but definitely don't take a sistah seriously anymore than "friends with benefits".
Now a highly educated sistah can let her "dry season" set in and be happy with that, but the longing of "touch" is a very powerful thing.
There is another issue too, some of our Brothamen are not very sexually explicit--so to speak. Like they don't like to get busy. They actually DO like the mind-body connection--the spooning, the hugging, the kissing without sexual intercourse. Some of our Brotha's are shall I say, "visual learners"--the burlesque and playboy--they like to look and oogle and that's about it.
Sometimes our Brothaman, just wants to be heard or their senses "expanded"... It touches them in such a way that gives them a different viewpoint in life...
And some Sistahs are "cold fish". Oh they lie on their back and are not into gymnastics, making it uneventful for some men because of some perceived strictly conservative viewpoint of how sex should be done. There is no connection--and if anything, I find a lot of Sistahs have that capability to acheive a "sexual expansion"or tantra, but have little idea of how to use it...
Of course you might get called a "voodoo high priestess" if you actually do that kinna stuh...