[Exquisite5]

WHAT.I.AM.GOING.TO.SAY.IS.GOING.TO.BE.UNPOPULAR.

I think alot of this has to do with the sexual revolution. I think white America bought into the sexual revolution LONG Black before America did. Most white men, I think, are already adjusted to a woman being sexually free and can actually have a relationship with a woman, and see her as a potential mate if he falls in love with her, EVEN IF she gave it up a little easily in the beginning.

However, the sexual revolution took hold in Black America a little slower, and even slower when it comes to the mindsets of Black men. So while Black women are getting degreed up and enjoying their sexual freedom many Black men still hold against the very women they are sleeping with and honestly developing feelings for, the circumstances of their first hook up. I know of numerous sitations at my HBCU law school where a couple hooks up kind of casually, they BOTH develop feelings, but the man just can't get over the fact that the interaction started with sex that was more casual than not. I truly know guys who started out having casual sex with a girl, really grew to love her, but won't make her is gal let alone his wife because he says, "I can't turn a h* into a housewife." Now, clearly these women aren't whores, but some Black men, I truly believe, can't get over the fact that women own their sexuality and sometimes <GASP> have sex for fun too.

I think these situations occur most when high degreed women are involved because many of us are trying to get sexual fixes (no judgment here) while we pursue our careers and degrees -- we don't go into professional school looking for mate. In our heads we just want fun; however while there we meet someone we feel for and he feels for us, but he can't get past us taking care of ours.

I started law school dang near engaged so while I personally didn't go thorugh this I have identified the phenomenom in a good number of people I know. So degreed ladies start to date non-Black men (b/c many of the Black men they know will never say it out loud but consider them used up) and the hang up about sex without love just isn't there, so if/when love comes it is unadulterated by the man's opinion.

This is just my 0.08 cents and clearly I am NOT saying the ENTIRE problem addressed in the article is defined by what I've just said. I would NEVER over-simplify like that, but I do think what I've said is the part of the issue no one wants to talk about.