Quote:
Originally posted by Bajan_Delta
This issue with my grandmother is not just a problem for me but for all of my cousins. The problem with cutting off my aunts also means cutting off my cousins who I feel close too. Unfortunately I have not found that absolute resolution. Not responding to them only opens the door to more foolish statements from them cause they see it as a sign of weakness. I used to go off quickly when I was younger, I found that to be ineffective. What I do now when confronted by one of their nasty comments i simply remind them that they aren't gold either. For example my mother's twin brother made some stupid remark to me some years back, and rather than get cuss him out I simply said to him "the lord will still bless you for raising someone else's child". This fool has full custody of a "biracial" child that has no trace of black in her and the mother was living with a man at the time she got pregnant. With that statement (which was made about 6 or 7 years back) he has never came back up in my face with any thing else.
I have found strength in my mother's support. Plus she knows all the dirt, so when someone starts to act up on me, my mum quickly buss them down . Sadly my grandmother has diluded herself into thinking that she was a good mother and grandmother and it is the general consensus that she was not. However, she has left a legacy of competition and jealousy among her children. Fortunately it has not trickled down to our generation. Us cousins may not alway be one big happy family but at the end of the day we do care deeply for each other and don't let the nonsense affect our relationships.
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I must tell you that I think a lot of people feel this way about somebody in their family. I cannot stand my father! We tried to rekindle our relationship (which he let go for 15 years while he was married) and I was stupid enough to move around the corner from him. Now because he cannot dictate who I talk to (he's very controlling and manipulative over people), he doesn't speak to me anymore. I know I would not cry if he died. Now he has some MONSTER chick as his girlfriend and she caters to his every need. I loathe the both of them.
