Quote:
Originally posted by AGDee
It isn't clear to me whether she initiates any of the contacts now or whether he always initiates contact. I think she should back off. Not answer the emails the same day, not be on IM sometimes, not always be there to answer the phone or take a couple days to not answer the phone.
I did a lot of online dating/meeting people just after my divorce and was suspicious of the men who wanted to meet immediately and the ones who dragged their feet. There is a happy medium in there, but a month and a half is too long if you ask me. I suspect he's married or in another relationship. Or, he kind of likes her but has lied to her about something (like maybe his weight or looks.. sent her a 5 year old picture, lives with his mom still, etc). Or, he's just not that into her but wants to keep her around just in case someone else doesn't.
If he asks her why she is more distant, she can say then "Well, it didn't seem like it was going anywhere so I decided to focus my energy elsewhere". If he doesn't notice or doesn't care, then she should just move on.
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AGDee makes some great points. James if your friend is the one contacting him all of the time, she needs to back off and not be so available. When this guy starts to ask why she isn't so attentive, all she has to say is that she's been busy. No need to get into detail. Your friend has a life too.
This guy has enough time for the numerous im's, phone calls, and emails, then he has enough time for a 30 minute meet n greet at the local Starbucks. There's no need to manipulate at all. She just says "Hey let's meet next Sunday afternoon for coffee." It's low key and in a public place. If he can't reschedule, then she needs to let him go.
He's within a reasonable driving distance. An hour is a average commute time for most jobs. I agree there's something up with him for not wanting to get together sooner.