Quote:
Originally posted by AKA_Monet
OHHHH the irony... It was my mom who told me to stay outta a couple's affairs, but she's the one that gossips to me about my brother...
I really don't talk to my brother all that much...
Basically, I said what I had to say before he got married... After he got married, I didn't say chit to him and his wife and their relationship.
I think maybe there is a misunderstanding about my points. I am purely regarding it from a domestically violent relationship...
I have seen and heard my brother yell at his wife. As far as him yelling toward ANY woman in front of me, I cannot handle that and I take that personally. To me that is domestic violence and I will not allow that kind of yelling to escalate. Do that kinna chit away from me because I will say something... Especially to my brother...
And no, I will not leave the room or go somewhere else when any man thinks he can speak to a woman any way he wants to--especially if it is done in front of me...
I have been in a domestically violent relationship and withstood verbal abuse and if in my own way I can prevent any woman from undergoing that situation I will...
And I have seen A LOT of African American men be domestically violent against women generally. There are many reasons for that, many of them have to do with racism. However, the basis of domestic violence is about power in the relationship--making the other person subservient by any means necessary. Not ALL African American men--but a significant number of them do not know how to have an appropriate relationship with a woman. Whatever the reason, IMO there does need to be something done about that.
And when I speak on this topic alone, domestic violence, if the African American man is purveyer of that violence it is usually over women that 1) are African American women or 2) women that lack the basic understanding of the cultural identity--namely other ethnic groups...
As an example, I know plenty of Asian women that are very strong willed and minded women, extremely intelligent and will speak their minds. But they will hesitate with some African American men who they might be dating because that man will hit them...
That is how our men often get into deep trouble... It does not make it right... Should we really stay out of that? Or should we teach our African American men how to not think that it is okay to be misogynistic and abusive toward women generally by first starting off with loving their African American women?
That is where I am coming from... PM me if you would like to discuss further...
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I still think it was overstepping your bounds. While he is your brother, his relationship with his wife is NOT your business. When she is tired, she will handle herself. Your interfering is not going to help her. She has to stand up for herself. Why would she stand up for herself if she has you to rush in playing Captain Save'em?
One of my messageboard peeves is when a poster gets everything off their chest and then asks that any further replies be taken to PM. I don't roll like that. It's nothing personal, but if you wanted to take it to PM, you should have PM'd me, not spill your guts for the world to see and ask for a private 'rebuttal.'