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Originally posted by Honeykiss1974
I'd have to seriously disagree with you preciousjeni on the statement that bible does not provide a blueprint for marriage because it does, although it comes in direct conflict with today's culture and generational thought process. The bible does tell us the qualities we should look for in a mate, how a marriage should function, its structure and a whole host of things. IMO, the problem is that many people (inclduing those that call themselves Christian) want to pick and choose what parts to follow and what to omit.
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See my comment below on what I meant by "formula." The Bible provides the
elements of a godly relationship - elements that can be transferred across cultural boundaries. I think the significant issue a conversation like this will run into is agreeing on what the Bible is actually demanding. Some of the passages used to back opinions about marriage come from letters/epistles that were intended to address very specific issues in the churches to which they were written.
Taking an overview of the entire Bible - its view of women, men and marriage - will yield the elements I'm referring to.
I don't disagree with you, though, that people want to pick and choose. It's HARD to be a Christian.
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Even if in the US, we saw co-habitation as "kosher", I seriously don't think it would matter. If a man wants to leave, he'll leave. If he has no intention of staying with a woman even if she has his child, that fact that co-habitation is ok won't sway him.
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I think we're saying the same thing, though. In cultures where co-habitation is
part of the marriage contract, it works. In the U.S., as a culture, we do not do this. Co-habitation is a convenience and a self-gratifying experience. The reason I posted the information about Haiti (and the other culture I mentioned) was to illustrate that the U.S. concept of how one becomes married is not the be-all-end-all of marriage.
In the U.S., we say, you get a legal marriage certificate and use it within a certain number of days to be married by a religious or public service officiant. What I'm saying is that this "formula" works in the U.S., but it won't necessarily work in other cultures.