[AKA_Monet]

Due to personal circumstances that I watched unfold before my very eyes, I had to rationalize what was going on for it all to make sense and this is as best that I can come up with...

For Ladygreek: I think what you are discussing is a difference in "generation"... For my generation, a teen girl that got pregnant and the guy ran out on her was the norm and the girl had to just deal... Then there are "plenty" of "stop gap" programs that taught girls that there are other options besides teenage pregnancies... Those really kicked into gear from the late 1980's and were well established by the mid-90's...

For Enigma_AKA: What you are discussing is the latest and current cultural trend (if you can call it that) of what young people say, do and think. And that is where we might have a discrepancy.

For AXEAM: The stats you quote are somewhat old. The number is higher than that. Most African American children born to unwed mothers are really not from teens, they are from women older than 21 years old. Some of them nearing 30 or later... And the number is like 80%.

It is called "marriage in reverse". A women wants a man so bad that she will have his baby and "thinks" (illogically) that he will marry her because of having the child... I have several "friends" that in fact did just that.

They were not teens who didn't know where babies came from or were unsure about there reproductive health... These are grown women that practically took an ovulation test to make sure they were going to "trap" the guy into marrying them...

Sometimes, it worked. Other times, and most of the time it did not. And if they married then found out they hated each other, they often got divorced--there in you have your divorce stat--like 50% or more... And yes, there are rare exceptions.

But I just asked a young lady who was a teen mom what she would say to her daughter when she became of "age", she told me she would make sure that her daughter did not "buy into" foolishness play game lines that guys who only want sex would say...

It is the "bedazzlement theory"...

But there is also the concept that a woman would have a man's child, but wouldn't marry the fool... That marriage is really hard and you'd have make it work, sacrifice. However, that thinking all changes after the baby is born--both events in life are equally difficult to do and there are sacrifices that are made anyway so you may as well do it with a partner that you love...

My husband vehemently believes that a couple absolutely should not marry just because of the child or pregnancy...

I think at a certain age that folks need to be responsible for their actions and use the theory of evolution by naturally selecting their mates and think before the get their groove on... Those concepts need discussion before you lie together. But I guess I live on Fantasy Island and most folks don't be thinking when it comes to sex...