Quote:
Originally posted by Boom_Quack13
I understand your position. Nobody likes to see their mother cry. But they are a couple, and they should be left to their own issues. My brother recently got married, and he called me one night wanting to vent and get advice.
I've been married a lot longer than him, and I gave him the best advice that I knew. I told him not to call me, or anyone else, venting and asking for advice regarding his wife. He needs to talk to her. Nobody can tell him about how she's feeling better than she can.
My daddy taught me to never get in a couple's affairs and to never bring anyone into ours.
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OHHHH the irony... It was my mom who told me to stay outta a couple's affairs, but she's the one that gossips to me about my brother...
I really don't talk to my brother all that much...
Basically, I said what I had to say before he got married... After he got married, I didn't say chit to him and his wife and their relationship.
I think maybe there is a misunderstanding about my points. I am purely regarding it from a domestically violent relationship...
I have seen and heard my brother yell at his wife. As far as him yelling toward ANY woman in front of me, I cannot handle that and I take that personally. To me that is domestic violence and I will not allow that kind of yelling to escalate. Do that kinna chit away from me because I will say something... Especially to my brother...
And no, I will not leave the room or go somewhere else when any man thinks he can speak to a woman any way he wants to--especially if it is done in front of me...
I have been in a domestically violent relationship and withstood verbal abuse and if in my own way I can prevent any woman from undergoing that situation I will...
And I have seen A LOT of African American men be domestically violent against women generally. There are many reasons for that, many of them have to do with racism. However, the basis of domestic violence is about power in the relationship--making the other person subservient by any means necessary. Not ALL African American men--but a significant number of them do not know how to have an appropriate relationship with a woman. Whatever the reason, IMO there does need to be something done about that.
And when I speak on this topic alone, domestic violence, if the African American man is purveyer of that violence it is usually over women that 1) are African American women or 2) women that lack the basic understanding of the cultural identity--namely other ethnic groups...
As an example, I know plenty of Asian women that are very strong willed and minded women, extremely intelligent and will speak their minds. But they will hesitate with some African American men who they might be dating because that man will hit them...
That is how our men often get into deep trouble... It does not make it right... Should we really stay out of that? Or should we teach our African American men how to not think that it is okay to be misogynistic and abusive toward women generally by first starting off with loving their African American women?
That is where I am coming from... PM me if you would like to discuss further...