View Single Post
  #14  
Old 02-22-2006, 01:49 PM
AXEAM AXEAM is offline
GreekChat Member
 
Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: Hiding from the police.
Posts: 557
Re: The issue will never be taken off Black women because...

, possibly getting you in trouble with the feds worth a few s[QUOTE]Originally posted by enigma_AKA
[B]Black women are giving birth to these 69% of children born outside of wedlock.

I see what you're saying. However, since we KNOW that Black men are running off, having many babies with many women, shouldn't that be even more reason for women to take more precaution? At the end of the day/nine months, if the woman knows that she not only has to carry a baby to full term BY HERSELF and then possibly take care of the baby BY HERSELF, then wouldn't the rational answer be: be careful. Do what it takes to not have a baby. It's not even that difficult to NOT have a child. What's difficult is TO have one.

Especially Black women. We have been nutured in an attitude of self-sufficiency. When Black men oftentimes left us hanging, we were/are forced to make a living/to survive by any means neccessary. And when you are SURVIVING, it doesn't mean you are living; it means you are doing what it takes to get by. And THEN you try to bring another life into the world, barely making it with yet another mouth to feed, another spirit to nurture. This is NOT how one should raise a child in a *healthy* enviroment. Not to say it can't be done, but I mean, honestly...which would you have?

As far as the Black men who put themselves into the situation to be a 'baby daddy', that's about dual accountability. When two people are having sex WITHOUT protection, both are at fault. Yes, fault. To not concern yourself with the possible outcome of that short-time (however enjoyable) is foolish, on both ends.

Black women are 'enablers'; that we, knowing the consequences and the eventual burden, would allow ourselves to be put into situations as to have the child. Leroy the _____, might be everything and a bag of chips, BUT you know deep down and he knows, he will not be a great parent. Let's stop making excuses--'maybe he'll come around', 'maybe he'll pay the child support', 'maybe this', maybe that'. And in the midst of these maybes, a child will suffer. Maybe not in the ways most people can see, but a lasting impression will be manifested in more ways than one.

And our Black men need to stop and think. Laquandanisha might be great as all get out. But do you REALLY want her calling you day in and day out, getting your pay checks cuteconds/minutes/hours of some a$$? Yeah, right. GROW UP. These are simple matters of consideration. Not rocket science--so we, Black women and Black women should expect better. For us to DO better.

Just another thought that a friend brought up to me today:The excuse that people don't 'think about it in the heat of the moment' or aren't thinking long term, while in the short term, is not enough. It never was, really, but we allowed ourselves to push it to the back burner. And not that pot is beginning to boil over. It is IMPERATIVE that we *think* about it. We need the proper guidance and models in our communities to promote THINKING ABOUT IT.


This is a great post.


LG, it's not about the blame game b/c both parties males & females are at fault it's about a problem that is recking havoc on the black community. I'm not knocking single parents and I'm damn sure not knocking blackwomen b/c blackmen are just as much if not more to blame for the problem, I'm against the mindset that having kids w/o being married esp by those who can least afford to is becoming the norm in our community.

Last edited by AXEAM; 02-22-2006 at 02:06 PM.
Reply With Quote