I apologize if my advice is off the mark, since I am unaware of the general greek climate at your university. However, at my school, there are always people in your situation after every recruitment. It seems like the girls who are in your situation (i.e. going through recruitment but not being placed) do one of three things:
1. Refocusing their hurt energy into making a successful second recruitment.
2. Refocusing their hurt energy into a new activity (club, group of friends, etc.) that will allow them to blossom as much or more than a sorority would.
3. Going on about their lives just fine but with bitterness toward Greeks.
In my experience, those are the three things that happen to women after a disappointing recruitment. If you were to ask me, I would suggest option number one for you. I understand it would be difficult, and it could be potentially heartbreaking again but you said yourself that you WANT a sorority experience -- letters, bid nights, and all that fun stuff that goes along with it. However, you are the ONLY one that can evaluate whether or not this option is feasible for you.... you need to be absolutely honest with yourself, but if you want the Greek experience then you should try again.
To be honest with you, it takes a lot of women a 2nd or even 3rd recruitment to find their home. I am of the opinion that there's no shame in trying again (at some schools it is next to impossible to receive a bid after an unsuccessful first recruitment, so you need to objectively look at your Greek climate and figure out what the prospects are for going through recruitment again). If your school has decent prospects for upperclasswomen or "rerushees," then you MIGHT want to consider it. But again, please decide for yourself -- I don't know your situation well enough to strongly advise you either way.
If option number one is NOT for you, then just know that time will heal. It's a waiting game, and it's understandable that you would be especially sensitive in light of the bid nights, little-big weeks, parties, new member activities, etc. The hurt will pass. Waiting is all you can do, but after awhile, you can focus your energy into something else that will give you fulfillment. I'm not going to stand here and say "Oh, join a club -- it will make up for the fact that you're not in a sorority." You CAN find something that will give you fulfillment, and it might be different but it's no less valid than the satisfaction you would get by joining a GLO.
Please don't pick option 3. I'm not saying you WOULD, but I see so many beautiful, smart, talented women who would have had an entirely successful second recruitment fall into the "I'm a GDI, I hate f-in Greek life" trap. You are smart enough and strong enough to have the kind of life where you will gracefully manage hurting and disappointment. I promise you that.
I'm sorry, I'm rambling. I hope I haven't given you totally terrible advice, but I loved your story and I do wish you all the luck in the world. Please keep us updated. Lots of love and good karma is being sent your way.
