[33girl]

Originally posted by Zillini
WLFEO hit the nail on the head. The best advice I can offer to a mom, sister, or grandma is that if you know your girl will be going through recruitment then get yourself involved. It doesn't even have to be active with that specific chapter. Although that would be a big plus because then the actives would know you and you can bring your legacy around so they get to know her. Volunteer your time and show them you're dedicated.

But if you don't know where your legacy will end up going to school or you live too far away to be directly active with that chapter, there are lot's of other things you can do. Join or even start an alum association. If there's another campus with a chapter nearby, get involved there. Volunteer to be an international officer. Donate (if you can afford it) to the local chapter or national GLO. When you go on campus visits, make arrangements to visit that chapter. If she'll be attending your alma mater, make plans to return for Homecoming, Founder's Day or other special events.

The list of things you can do is endless. Just don't wait until her senior year in hs. Plan ahead. I know I always look twice and think thrice about allowing our members to drop a PNM who's mom, etc is an incredibly active alum. There had better be darn good reasons and not just she was really shy or didn't seem very interested.

Nothing bothers me more than getting angry calls from some random alum who's ticked because we cut her legacy. I can't tell you how tempted I always am to say "Who are you and why have I never heard your name before now? You expect us to bend over backwards for your legacy, yet you haven't even taken the time over the past 18 years of her life to even make your presence known to us?" Sorry, I've just been raked over the coals too many times.

I can understand your way of thinking, and I sympathize if you've gotten nasty calls, but I think we have to be very careful that we don't get into a pattern of "some are more equal than others." Most legacy policies I've read say a legacy is a daughter, sister, granddaughter of a member. It doesn't say a member who is in an alum chapter or a member who sent cookies to the collegians or a member who donated beaucoup bucks. It says a member, period.

Not everyone has time to be involved, and many people espouse the theory of not wanting to do things halfway - i.e. they don't want to be an alum who is nominally in an alum chapter and can't make most of the events. I'm sure my little would be great in an alum chapter, and there's a collegiate chapter in her town, but she's also working 60+ hours a week and in a singing group besides. She's not going to tell the collegians to call her when they need something - mainly because she might not be there!

If an alum, no matter what her status as involvement goes, has filled out the proper forms and done what they can to make sure the chapter knows about her daughter/sister etc rushing, the same level of courtesy should be applied across the board. They may not be doing much as alums, but they may also be the person who as a collegian personally got 20 women to join and saved her chapter's charter.