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Originally posted by Phasad1913
I just find that more inner conflicts exist amond black men who date white women because it is true, and often they come to realize that they are dealing with deep internal problems having to do with being a black MAN in America. That affects black men on so many levels and I think this is just one way they consciously or subconsciously express that. I remember watching Hannit & Combs on Fox News and they brought a black female radio hostess from New York, I believe, on their show to talk about comments she had made about black men dating white women and she was trying to explain why a lot of black women felt the sting and most often don't like it. They, as they always do, would not let her get a word in edgewise and kept berrating her, calling her a racist and saying that she was wrong and basically no different from the white men who used to castrate and murder black men when they even THOUGHT they were looking at a white woman. I thought that was terrible of them not to even listen.
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Neither Hannity (definitely not Hannity) nor Combs ought to have ever addressed this issue. What for? How does that affect them--really? Shame on the woman for thinking she was even going to get a fair shake on this deal... the question is, Why were they even giving this show credence? And all I can come up with is the entire FOX News Channel does not want this addressed because there is some "fantasic" about miscegnation that makes it sooooo enticing. And the moneymakers can quickly find dollars when there are relational issues in regard to that... Think of how much money is made when OJ blinks?
The way to deal with that kind of show is how, the Arthel [sp?] Neville chick dealt with Bill O'Reilly--notice that she's not allowed to be on there anymore... That is how you deal with biases and bigots--put it right out there for them to deal with it... Then the denial walls come up...
In fact that is how I have talked to plenty of caucasian men--very powerful men in my former city in that direct line of questioning... That is if you wish to play the game and it is very dangerous. Basically, you say, "How do you find me physically attractive, and if not, why?" The follow up, that most African American men have those kinds of issues of not even loving themselves enough to already, that they "escape" by thinking they can actually find validity outside of themselves through a women outside of his cultural vantage point... But you have to put it squarely on them because they have to address this issue of Black Women and Self-Esteem and Beauty... Most caucasian men are not willing to admit that to themselves--let's not begin to start with other ethnic groups.
The question you raise is an ancient one: Where did all this "bigotry" of "race mixing" begin and when did it become a sexually erotic and enticing thing? Think of the Greco-Roman times when they conquered Egypt and beyond, and I think you might find your answers...
There are strong historical reasons why it suddenly became "wrong" to love someone not of your background, your clan, your race, your heritage, unequally yoked, etc... A very strong epistemology follows that...
The closest understanding of this whole thing I have found is from Dr. Frances Cress Welsing's,
The Isis Papers. Paula Giddings book,
When and Where I Enter, somewhat addresses this issue, in that the shock that happened after all the help that Black women gave during civil rights to their "man" and the perceived abandonment of affection for someone else... There are plenty of reasons for that and I cannot go into at this time.
And really. a loooonnnngggg time ago, like B.C., it wasn't a problem until a defined point in time... The question is, why?
Quote:
i]Originally posted by Phasad1913 [/i]
But I realized that it is hard to explain how we feel about this. Black woman who feel rejected by even black men in light of the history of this country always depicting us as less than desireable and less attractive due to our natural features...
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I personally have found it easier to explain to some of the purveyeors of what I would call the most racist men in America--Caucasian Staunch Republican wealthy men--and I have this knowledge by just talking to them if I can suppress my anger long enough... And what I find is that they are psychologically hurt by what is expected of being a "man"--especially "Da Man", etc.--that they have no clue as to how to deal with it. Most of those guys don't want to be viewed as haters. I mean only those of the 3rd Reich would want to feel that way, but I seriously doubt they want to be seen how most in "society" think of them--so essentially, they shutdown those emotions and go into something they've probably been doing since they realized they were boys... And that is where the problem I think arises...
What we are fighting here is years of history...
Some folks want to live in denial. Others want to move on. Still others want to hash it out. But others don't even know that something happened until you tell them or shock them...