Quote:
Originally posted by PKTSU01
As far as the "guy needing to complete x,y,z" before committing stuff. I used to have your view with that, figuring if a guy would care enough, he wouldn't need anything else. Then i realized, thats b.s. If a guy, or girl, wants to have certain experiences and he or she settles down before having those experiences, 9 times out of 10, the want for the experience may come back. I'm already seeing this with one of my brothers, he got marred, regrets that he didn't mess around more in college, so he's doing that now, behind his wife's back. Now, that's f*$*^d for sure, but I saw that coming a mile a way the day he got married. So, it isn't always b.s. when a guy says he needs to clear up his mind by having experiences. In regards to the post topic, I am in 100% agreement with the fact that women dangle sex for love while men dangle love for sex. I'll quote another one of my fraternity brothers when he said "Women can fake orgasms, but men can fake entire relationships." It seemed funny at the time, but is in reality kind of sad. Women do seem to need the affection part while men (some of em) can do without the love as long as they can wake up next to something warm and cuddly. This isn't true with all guys, but isn't a hard situation to encounter.
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In regards to your comment, I support 100% the urge for everyone to sow their wild oats before committing to someone. I think that the pursuit of sowing wild oats
after marriage is one of the leading causes of divorce. On the flip side of that, there are men who will never sow enough wild oats and will continue to pursue tail for life without the desire to truly settle down.
However, I wasn't referring to that particular desire. Maybe I didn't make myself clear. Specifically, I was referring to excuses such as: " I need to be making this set amount of money before committing or I need to complete career-oriented goals before committing." I can understand those reasons; however, I don't agree with them. My reality is that, hopefully, I will walk along
with my mate as he is striving to achieve certain goals. He doesn't necessarily have to achieve them prior to me committing to him. It's more important to me that he has those goals in mind. I think that my dilemma along with other women is the power of
DISCERNMENT. I have problems seeing chit for what it really is. Therefore, I constantly visiting the School of Hard Knocks when it comes to relations with men.