Quote:
Originally posted by evaclear04
HC I truly thank all of you for your post.
HC Everytime I look at both my boys I know I am looking at her.
My mother was all i had for a long time. It had been only me and her for all my life. After her divorce she never once dated...because being a strong mother and women example for me was more important to her.
My mother was diagnosed with Multiple Myeloma July 04'. She had no clue. She was never sick and always on the go. All of sudden she started having shoulder pains and then couldn't move it at all. When they performed an MRI she had cancer everywhere. They rushed her to Moffit Cancer Center (and excellent hospital) and she was there for a month. When they first admitted her they couldn't even believe that she was walking...the calcium in her blood was so high that her heart should have stopped.
She was only 56 and spent her birthday undergoing a Bone Marrow transplant.
She had more faith than I could ever imagine. Because even in the midst of it all she never doubted or questioned HIM. She battled this thing for two weeks shy of a year.
She was actually considered in remission two weeks before she passed away. We just knew she had beaten it. And then before we knew ....we were right back where we started...and they told us that nothing this time would work. It had gotten too strong. Even then she didn't cry or get mad. She just wanted everyone to know how much I had given up for her. That i had lost my job trying to make sure she got to her appointments. After that she used what energy she had to sit down and talked about her wishes. I feel so bad because I was so blind to it. I was too busy trying to keep her spirits up and be strong in front of everybody that i didn't even let it sink in...
I am so sorry for rambling...I just have so much on my heart.
I look in the mirrow and i see her in....and that hurts.
HC I just wish she would call me just to make sure i got home ok and that i had a good day at work. Or just to talk to my babies. Or just to tell me not to worry....because He knows what's around the corner.
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HC that all sounds too familiar?
HC my grandmother was diagnosed with cancer in early 2002?
HC she died in September 2002?
HC I still wake up some days and think that I'm going to call her to see how she's doing?
HC I still expect to hear her voice when I get together with the family?
HC it seems so unfair that she is gone and I'm here without her words of support and encouragement?
HC she was my inspiration for becoming a Soror?
HC I cry every time we sing the hymn because it reminds me of her?
HC my aunts and mom all remind me of her, their looks, voices, everything?
HC I know that the Lord has a plan for all of us?
HC I know that the Lord is always here and he knows how to make us all deal with the sadness of loss?
HC just lean on the Lord?