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So, we had first round of parties and I went to Dominique and Aundrea. And now I feel sort of a dilemma, even though we still have tons more parties to go. I think both sororities are absolutely great, but I'll just let you guys know a little bit of what is going on inside of my head...
Dominique: These girls do have a little bit of a reputation on campus that is not that great, but the thing is: I know a considerable amount of them and they have always been nice people (even outside/before rush). When people insult them, I'm starting to feel insulted because I don't really feel like they deserve it. Anyway, I went to their event and I just felt at home, kind of like I did with Round Robin. I didn't explain it to you guys here, but during RR, when I got to them, I just had the BEST time. I was laughing and talking and I felt like a part of it. And when it was over, I didn't want to leave... I wanted to stay and hang out some more with the girls. And the first event was like that, too. I felt like I could COMPLETELY be myself and they accepted me. I didn't care about how I was dressed, I didn't care if I was a total goofball; they seemed to love me just as I was and they seemed to really like me. One of the girls I did RR with asked me if I wanted to join them because I seemed so at home with them. It surprised me because I didn't think I was going to have them at the top of my list... especially because of Aundrea...
Aundrea: This whole year, they have been my first choice. They have been the most consistent. The girls in it are nice, and there are some girls in it that are simply exceptional. However, this sorority is bigger. It seems like most of the girls at our school that are doing rush are rushing this sorority. Their first event was a little overwhelming in a way because there were so many people. Since there were so many people, there weren't that many real conversations happening. You'd state the basics, and then you'd be passed on to someone else before you could have a conversation. I understand that they had to do this in order to give the other girls a fair chance, but I kind of felt like I wanted to start connecting, esp. after Dominique, and we didn't. So, the night went on and I found myself sort of forcing laughter at some parts. I would sneak glances at other girls in the room and they looked like they were having the time of their lives and all I could think was: "Do I really see myself here?" I don't know if I just got intimidated with all of the other girls, but I... I don't know. All these thoughts that I had never had just sort of hit me. Like, if I did join the sorority, would I ever feel like I was truly a part of it? And because it's one of the bigger ones, would there be a bunch of little cliques (well, that's true for almost every group)... but if there were cliques, where would I fit? I don't know if I would have felt this way if I hadn't have attended Dominique's event, but it's like the balances sort of shifted.
I am going to keep an open mind. Just as my feelings for Dominique changed, my feelings for Aundrea may change, too. I can't really make a real decision until I have had more events with them. Hopefully some of the girls will be weeded out (there are just too many to start to try and get to know them) and then once there are less people, maybe it will be easier to have some real conversations and to feel comfortable. I hope, at least.
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