I agree with those of you who do encourage a simple "please" and "thank you" to your servers. While there is nothing "wrong" about not acknowledging your servers, if you need a clean glass, an extra napkin or place setting, your servers will be more likely to provide to those that appreciate the hard work they do than those who appear to be impervious.
I am a firm believer in the instruction of etiquette for both men and women. Dinners and social events are much more pleasant if there is a general understanding of social courtesy from all parties.
I am currently reading Amy Vanderbilt's Complete Book of Etiquette...circa 1952
! Although there are elements that will last throughout eternity, it's interesting to read about gender equality (or rather the lack thereof), especially in the work force. It's also quite humorous to read about women's fashion, including the fur coat I am supposed to own.
