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hey man:
i am a founding father of my Delta Upsilon chapter (we actually just chartered about 9 days ago!). we had similar problems, so i think i might be able to offer some advice. our campus is fairly small (9000 students), and it had just added two new fraternity chapters within in the last 5 years (sigma nu and pi kapp FYI), so a lot of people thought that three would be impossible. however we had the help of two neighboring chapters (arlington and houston - THANK GOD) and a LOT of help from IHQ.
we found out that "going by the book" as far as recruitment doesn't work on a lot of campuses. try it at first, and if you don't see any results, DEFINATELY try other methods. it took us several months (and a lot of wasted money) to figure out what worked best for us, so please learn from out mistakes. definately get REALLY involved on campus, not that you probably aren't already, but it will really help out. and finally, don't let all the BS get to you. have fun. as long as your guys are having fun and doing what you're supposed to do to get your charter, getting new guys will be EASY. we colonized with 17 great guys, lost a few, went through a long summer and OK rush, and charted with a strong group of 30 guys...with a current pledge class of 5, which makes 35 now.
aephi alum had very very good advice! its always better to get 1 great quality guy, than to get 5 guys who don't have the heart or aren't willing to put forth the effort to found a chapter.
and keep a good, positive attitude no matter what. the greek system is definately VERY image oriented, so make sure your guys are promoting the image and beliefs of your fraternity. make a first good impression, not a bad last impression.
feel free to give me an email or something if you need anymore advice. starting a chapter is A LOT of work, but worth every minute of it in the end. GOOD LUCK!
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