[Duchovnysfan]

Day 3 (I think I lost count already) is just winding down. With day 3, we got our invites back. At the time, I didn't what much to think where I got 1 invite back, Icebreakers. I will admit I was really shocked, I had so many emotions going through my head. I was really happy that I got Icebreakers b/c quite honestly I was not expecting it at all! They were in the my top 4 but I thought that I may get an invite back from Smarties or whatever. I think right then and there I went into a tale spin b/c the very thing that I was hoping that would not happen (get only 1 invite back) actually did. Thankfully, I had about a good 1 hour to regain composure and see that Icebreakers did invite me back! So this is what happened....

So I was paired with one girl and the minute I came into the room; I was really touched. I started to tear up while they were singing. Then I was paired (I said that too early) with one girl and felt completely open with her, and just felt so happy to be there! Then several girls that I knew came up to me, gave me hugs and saw how I was doing. I absolutely loved it and felt the genuineness of them really happy to see me. Then some girls - I didn't know - came up to me and said they heard about me from their other sisters that I knew or had class with said what a wonderful person I was. I got really emotional and started to cry because it meant so much to me. It wasn't tears of sadness but tears of happiness. I was just so happy to be in their presence. I absolutely loved it more so than I did the last 2 days; it was buidling up. I really liked the speeches and the last one actually inpsired me. Just from observing from today, those little moments are things that attracted so much to participate and find my fit in a sorority. The thought that I only got into 1 and not say 2, 3 or 4 went away easily. So of course, with only one to rank, I ranked Icebreakers, 1.

Today will be the day where I hope that I will not get the "dreaded phone call" but statistically and realistically the odds are not in my favor - you know with matchup, so if it comes I understand b/c I know I did everything I could and enjoyed it and developed a strong connection with ladies @ Icebreakers would be something I can add to my life and it knowing it was not because they did not like me or fit in. I'm thinking about COB/informal recruitment as an alternate, to keep my options open but it depends how everything plays out.

Honestly, I just feel at peace for me esssentially it's over b/c if I do get invited back tomorrow I will get a bid from them b/c it's only one (I talked to my Rho Chis and said this was the case) and if not I'm going to over stress the fact that I have to choose and let go of one and etc is a lot to deal with.

Whatever may happen thanks to all, recruitment was a great experience. I do not hold any animosity towards sororities. The way I thought of it, that's how the cookie crumbles sometimes.

I sound like that it's officially over and thinking I will be cut from Icebreakers via matching but after talking to a couple of Rho Chis, that's pretty much where I stand right now. It's a feeling I cannot explain it just is.