Family is the most important thing in life, and stories like this break my heart. I truly wish all people understood how precious family and friends are. I'm so sorry for the pain you must be going through.
A couple of comments:
First, you need to find out if your father has some sort of physical problem that is affecting his behavior. If he has undiagnosed Celiac or Graves Disease, this could explain his irrational behavior towards you. Or, does he have a chemical imbalance such as a manic/depressive disorder? Or, maybe he's jealous of you? Are you more successful than he is, and maybe he can't deal with it?
If none of the above applies to your dad, just know that there is nothing you can do to change his behavior. What you CAN do is change your REACTION to his behavior.
It does sound like he's trying to open the door to you. Sometimes when people get older and face their mortality, they realize what is most important in life-- and that is family.
You'll now have to make a choice. You can call to thank him for the gifts to your kids, and pretend like nothing happened... then see how the conversation goes. Don't expect an apology. He may be too embarrassed to talk about it.
While you may want to have a heart-to-heart, it probably would just make him defensive and would bring up old wounds for both of you. He most likely realizes he was wrong anyway. He could be just too darned stubborn to admit it. And, as we know, most men hate to talk about their feelings. They'd rather gargle glass. It might be best to forgive him and put the past behind you both-- with limits.
If you decide to reconcile, know that the power has now shifted to you. He is coming to you, so the relationship is now on your terms. Set limits in what you will tolerate going forward in this relationship. Remember that we teach people how to treat us. When you were a child, you had no choice in how you were treated. You're an adult now, so you have the power to insist you be treated with respect.
Stop him in his tracks immediately the first time he starts to criticize you again. Very calmly, and without emotion you can simply say something like, "Dad, I'm not going to go down that road with you again. I love you, but it makes me feel bad when you say things like that." Then change the subject. Refuse to let him engage you in it.
Also be sure to check your own behavior. Are you somehow antagonizing him unconsciously? Do you fall into old childhood habits, maybe pushing his buttons for attention? Do you let him know how much you love him?
Don't forget that he's human. He has "stuff" that he's dealing with as well. Maybe he's got baggage from his youth. Did he have a bad relationship with his parents? We live what we learn, and maybe that's what he learned growing up.
If you decide the relationship is too toxic to salvage, then you need to concentrate on your own family and healing yourself. A very good book to read is this one, "Divorcing a Parent,"
http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/044...books&v=glance
Good luck, and I hope this turns out to be the start of a healthy and happy New Year with your dad.