[adpiucf]

Like it or not, recruitment is a job interview. You are trying to fill one of several spots, and you have to meet certain criteria to be given that offer. One of those includes clicking with the members of that chapter. If you're a partier and they're more into Bible Study, that's going to be a clear decision that it's not the right place for you. You're going to learn during recruitment week about the "flavor" of each chapter through indivdual conversations, slide shows, videos or skits, and more. You're not going to know every woman inside and out, but you'll have a good feel for the collective group and be able to determine if that is something that makes you comfortable or not.

The trouble arises when someone can tell from her gut she doesn't like the place yet takes the bid because of the chapter's stellar reputation on campus and wanting to be associated with that class. In the long run, you won't be happy posing as something you're not.

And I have yet to meet someone who within the first 5 minutes starts to share intimate details of her private life... unless she is completely socially inept or is really trying to pull your leg because she is bored and doesn't want to be at your event.

You should be yourself at recruitment. But you should also know that being yourself includes being a gracious guest-- some topics aren't appropriate in some settings... and that is a lesson to follow throughout life in any social, service or work group. If a PNM struggles with this concept of conforming to a group norm, than that PNM should reassess what attracts her about joining a group. Being part of a family, a company or service association will follow those same expectations. Heavy duty bonding, memory making, going out, etc., come later after the groundwork has been laid for the relationship.