Quote:
Originally posted by ktsnake
I've never seen a woman offer to forebear on collecting child support in exchange for custody
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I would, in a heartbeat. But that's a long story.
What I don't get personally, is how people can say 9 months is a long time, when the child is going to be in your care for 18 years. I always hear the focus put on the pregnancy, not the life of the child.
Some bottom lines:
If the couple is married, your husband have EVERY right to know about it and have full power in discussion. Especially (from a petty stand point) if you are under his insurance that is going to pay for it. (LITTLE TIDBIT: In DC, when you have a baby, even if you're divorced, your ex is the husband of any child you have for 6 months after the divorce. So even if she cheated, it's still legally his child). You may think, oh my body will be in turmoil for 9 whole months, but your husband may be thinking, I will have a child to love and teach about life, etc. etc.
If the couple is not married, it should still be a discussion, but my whole feeling on the thing is, if you WILLINGLY did it, you better WILLINGLY take care of whatever comes from it. You know the risks, you accept them as OK when you stick it in.
If the father wants an abortion and the woman does not, given that a woman has the right to do what she wants, he should have the right to not have to pay child support. I say this because if we're gonna look at this as if abortion is ok (its not with me, but this is for logical discussion), if the father doesn't think you all are ready, and he wants to "erase the mistake" but you as the woman want to take it on, that should be on you. If a guy is LETTING YOU KNOW IN ADVANCE that he's gonna be a deadbeat, that's on you if you proceed anyway.
It all boils down to how you look at babies. Some see a baby in a woman as life, others see it as tissue mass until it comes out and cries. That one view will shape how things will go. The way I see it, if you make it, you have to deal with it. And make better choices about who you have sex with. Every partner should be looked at as a potential father/mother. If you do that seriously, most people wouldn't have sex with the MAJORITY of people they've had sex with.