KLPDaisy,
I am so sorry you are feeling down and struggling with this. I agree w/ everyone who said to go speak to a counselor. My grandfather died a few months after 9-11, and around the same time I started having some health problems, in addition to trying to finish out my last year in school and plan a wedding. I was experiencing things I couldn't even talk about with my fiance.
I started going to the counseling center, and it was so helpful to have someone who I didn't know personally listen to my problems once a week. She was able to give an objective point of view w/o belittling me. Does that make sense? Sometimes your friends are hard to talk to b/c you're scared what you're feeling isn't normal, or b/c they know the other people involved and have their own opinions already.
Anyways, please talk to someone about this. I promise, it will help. It may not seem to at first, but it really will.
Of course, I am here if you need to talk.
