I agree. I think that the prevalence of divorce is closely related to the me, me, me attitude that is prevalent in our society to an extent that it probably has never been before. I read in a book that if you want to get married to enrich your own life to not get married - but if you want to get married to enrich the life of your partner, then get married. In other words, if you are getting married to come up, don't do it.
I think that there is also a lack of seriousness re the vows that are generally taken. I think that some people think that for better or worse until death do you part means until you have gotten on my last nerves. If that's the case, why not just re-write the vows and say what you really mean (or intend to do). I'm sure that I'm archaic in this regard but I have the feeling that for me if I marry, unless it is life threatening (ex: like if he is kicking my butt), then we need to work it out. I'm archaic but I think that the fact that many people probably think that they should divorce if they are being greatly inconvenienced is probably a reason why it is so prevalent.
Also, I think that it may be prevalent because it seems like some people are way too concerned about how a man (or woman) looks on paper than what the core qualities of that person are - and they just don't pay attention. Many people that are arrogant fools or irresponsible with money or liars/cheaters or hotheaded were that way before the ring went on. We just choose to see what we want to see b/c how are we going to pass up this college educated black man or this woman who can be your trophy wife? Then when we find out that our ideas about how to manage money are irreconciable, then we are all surprised. Uh hello, spend more time thinking about the core personality characteristics of that person, and how they conduct themselves in various situations, than how many degrees he has. I think that there is someone for everyone - I just think that some chose those that are not for them but b/c it's convenient and our biological clocks are ticking, we roll with it.
SC
Quote:
Originally posted by southernelle25
To respond, in part, to Rain Man, I believe commitment imposes enormous responsibilities on both parties. It also offers tremendous benefits. Unfortunately, the divorce rate is sky high because, IMO, women get married with only the the benefits in mind and men are simply NOT READY for the responsibilities and obligations.
I don't know whether the ultimate problem is immaturity or lack of understanding and communication, but I think it has less to do with feminism and more to do with this culture of entitlement. Marriage requires sacrifice and selflessness, and those are unfamiliar terms in modern society.
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