Quote:
Originally posted by Conskeeted7
[B]I think it's tougher to be married because the moral fabric of our society has changed drastically from the 50s. Marriage is not valued by many people, single or married. Divorce is seen as an option. 50 years ago, you were talked about and estranged from the social scene if you were a divorcee. There's none of that now. People have nerve and flaunt their infidelities. You hear 'baby mama' more than you hear 'wife.' Marriage was supported by the entire family. Now, you hear parents suggesting that their children live with a person before they commit to marriage. You see grandparents whose grandchildren have 5 different dads and that's ok with them. Because of 'political correctness' people are afraid to say anything offensive. So, we just nod at the couple with 3 kids who have been living together for 5 years and he cheats regularly. We turn our heads when we see a married man at the club dancing witha hoochie mama. No one has stepped up to preserve the integrity of marriage. So, that's why I thihnk it's harder now.
|
So true...so true.
I'm going to bring a different perspective to the topic. I'm not married (would love to be one day) and it wasn't until I got into an "adult" relationship of three years with my significant other "s.o." that I realized that I was not prepared for everything that an "adult" relationship had to offer. By "adult", I mean what it truly takes to make a relationship work (e.g., the sacrifice of time, money and self). I can honestly say that as much as I love my mother (single mom) for preparing me for my life, she did not totally prepare for me being in a relationship with a man. I had to learn (at almost the cost of my relationship) that there are things that you shouldn't say to your s.o., what disrespect truly means, how sometimes your s.o. has to come before yourself, not to take the past out on your mate, etc.
I could go on ad nauseum but the question is this, can black parents do more to prepare their children for the committment of marriage?
Also, my mother did not have me in the church like she should have at a younger age. Church (or what ever religious institution you choose) gives you lessons on how to deal with people and foster relationships. Church was the reason why so many couples back in the day stayed together. Through the teachings of God, they were able to make it work.