How many of y'all have been married, still are or have gotten divorced...
(And Soror BBT7, Soror WenD08 and AGDee and some others I know about cannot answer this question because I already know your answers...)
James,
You raise a very good question. I think for SOME women, yes, marriage is the end all, be all of a relationship with a man.
And MOST of the time it is because of religious AND morality reasons for folks who do get married. Not all the time, but most of the time.
The minute I got engaged, my mom was already ordering the cake, placing the location at a church and choosing my china patterns... All she needed was a solid date...
The fact that I, nor my now husband, wanted a HUGE (500+) wedding with ice sculptures and how we foiled the plan by eloping is still a bone of contention with my mom, my MIL and me... And YES, it is ALL about "morality" and "duty" and all that "being good daughter crap"...
But, I think one has to get married to see what it's like to be married and how to behave in a marriage. Aside from the hardwork and time to just be with somebody "strange" at sometimes plus or minus kids, it's tough. It's a 9 to 5 job. And I do think American society does a piss poor job of preparing its citizenry for this challenge--regardless of sexual preferences...
Since I really never lived with somebody for any length in time, I cannot comment on that. I chose not to live with my husband before we were married simply because I felt I was too old to "play house" and "wait and see what it's like". I know what I wanted and I knew I wanted my husband to be in my life. My husband says the same thing. I believe him. But that's because we both were in our 30's when we got married.
And YES, age does play a role nowadays. Long time ago, the reasons for getting married were to procreate with a formalized name (meaning = money). And the fact America was an agrarian society. The huge switch may have occured when the Nixon administration changed our monetary system to our gross national product rather than the gold standard--or I think it was the Nixon admin, I could be wrong with my presidents... Anyhow, I don't know if this is cause or effect in marriages as it relates to how our monetary system is organized. But I do know that financial stability is imperative in any maritial relationship with a breadwinner (ironically)...
Soror AKA2D91, and others:
As far as "celebrity marriages". LA DOES NOT CONDONE 1 ON 1 RELATIONSHIPS!!! I'd say MOST of SoCal does not--maybe pockets of the O.C. does, but even then these things are suspect... Reason #2 why I chose NOT to get married in SoCal...
Even if the couple marries elsewhere and resides in SoCal--I'm sorry, there are so many other opportunities and temptations there that defeats the purpose of marriage so fast.
Like they really do not have "family style" dining anymore in any "reputable" restuarant... And purchasing a home is a sport in SoCal for only the rich and infamous--no benefit for a two-income family--like some HUGE marriage penalty tax--because folks pay state income taxes and the FTB LOVES to collect... And EFF being married with children in SoCal, hayle too many other legal options available for child support and collection. Why be married??? Forget that a stable home environment is conducive to a child--at least that is what the experts say... But who cares? It's all about me.com anyways...
I mean in Dallas, TX, they had "family days" for all events--made me feel like a total outsider when I was single there... Like I had a 3rd eye or something...
Well in Seattle, there is little purpose to getting married out here, but not quite as bad as it is in SoCal--aside from the fact that the pickings are slim in SoCal...
And if my relationship fails for whatever reason and I pray to God it does not--but reality check has to always be in effect, I dayum sho will get divorced in SoCal...