Quote:
Originally posted by RedefinedDiva
Last bit of advice: try not to get your hopes up too high. YOU might think that they are perfect for one another and THEY might not find that love connection. That's a determination they have to make on their own. If I had a dollar for the number of times someone told me that they had the "perfect" guy for me.....
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I really believe your heart is in the right place but I just wanted to hightlight this for you to REALLY read it through. I'm currently on the outs with a friend becasue she's 'tired' of me being alone and is pissed that I didn't feel this instant attraction to this guy she was trying to set me up with.
I'm.not.into.him. - can't make it any clearer than that. I might have just stayed in touch with him and kept it casual and be friends if we were on the same page but he is clearly looking for an instant mate and since I know its not him why should I lead him on? Somehow she has it in her head that I'M in the wrong & I have issues. Yes I've been hurt in the past, yes there are certain things that will make red flags fly but I'm capable of knowing when I'm attracted to someone or not - intellectually and/or physically. And he ain't it. And I'm not going to keep someone around just because YOU think you know better than me what I want or need.
That said, my advice is to step back and leave it alone. If you are having an event and invite both of them then do so but to orchestrate a dinner party with the intention of setting them up isn't cool at all. If your friend is in a "do me" period then respect that and let her 'do herself'. When she is ready to date then and only then will she be open to the right man.
Your male friend also needs to spend some time alone and get his act together - the fact that he keeps picking women that end up using him means he isn't exactly using his best sense when choosing who to be with so he really isn't ready for real love cause he has to learn to exhibit & practice SELF LOVE first. I've learned when you really love yourself you don't let anyone in your circle that doesn't treat you with the level of respect that you deserve. No time for games or BS and that wouldn't have happened if I had continued to date when others were trying to push me to.