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A few questions:
How many of you have been raped? Gang raped? By football players, or other men two or three times your size? How many of you have had a weird feeling after you drank something, and don't quite remember the rest of the night -- or remember things like they're in fog or a movie afterwards?
It's odd that this woman actually went to the football game and cheered for this team, if she was raped - but was she still drugged? Unsure of what happened?
I got an email today, telling me what to do if I'm approached by a possible rapist. I'm going to copy it here, along with my personal experience:
A group of rapists and date rapists in prison were interviewed on what they look for in a potential victim and here are some interesting facts:
1) The first thing men look for in a potential victim is hairstyle . They are most likely to go after a woman with a ponytail, bun, braid or other hairstyle that can easily be grabbed . They are also likely to go after a woman with long hair. Women with short hair are not common targets.
2) The second thing men look for is clothing. They will look for women who's clothing is easy to remove quickly . Many of them carry scissors around specifically to cut clothing.
I was wearing a buttoned blouse and knee length skirt
3) They also look for women on their cell phone , searching through their purse or doing other activities while walking because they are off guard and can be easily overpowered.
My attacker was about my height, but much stronger.
4) Men are most likely to attack & rape in the early morning, between 5:00a.m. and 8:30a.m.
I was attacked at 12:30 in the afternoon, on the way home from church.
5) The number one place women are abducted from/attacked is grocery store parking lots. Number two is office parking lots/garages. Number three is public restrooms.
I was attacked on the sidewalk of a busy street.
6) The thing about these men is that they are looking to grab a woman and quickly move her to another location where they don't have to worry about getting caught.
Even though there were 4 or 5 people standing right there, my attacker slammed my head onto a bus shelter.
7) Only 2% said they carried weapons because rape carries a 3-5 year sentence but rape with a weapon is 15-20 years.
8) If you put up any kind of a fight at all, they get discouraged because it only takes a minute or two for them to realize that going after you isn't worth it because it will be time-consuming.
My attack started when the rapist tried to grab my breast. I hit him with my purse, and kneed him in the groin.
9) These men said they would not pick on women who have umbrellas, or other similar objects that can be used from a distance, in their hands. Keys are not a deterrent because you have to get really close to the attacker to use them as a weapon. So, the idea is to convince these guys you're not worth it.
10) Several defense mechanisms he taught us are: If someone is following behind you on a street or in a garage or with you in an elevator or stairwell, look them in the face and ask them a question, like what time is it, or make general small talk: "I can't believe it is so cold out here", "we're in for a bad winter." Now you've seen their face and could identify them in a line-up; you lose appeal as a target.
Not only could I identify this man, so could the others who WATCHED the whole attack.
11) If someone is coming toward you, hold out your hands in front of you and yell STOP or STAY BACK ! Most of the rapists this man talked to said they'd leave a woman alone if she yelled or showed that she would not be afraid to fight back. Again, they are looking for an EASY target.
I yelled and screamed until I passed out.
12) If you carry pepper spray (this instructor was a huge advocate of it and carries it with him wherever he goes,) yell I HAVE PEPPER SPRAY and holding it out will be a deterrent.
I was told not to ever carry a weapon
13) If someone grabs you, you can't beat them with strength but you can by outsmarting them. If you are grabbed around the waist from behind, pinch the attacker either under the arm (between the elbow and armpit) OR in the upper inner thigh VERY VERY HARD . One woman in a class this guy taught told him she used the underarm pinch on a guy who was trying to date rape her and was so upset she broke through the skin and tore out muscle strands - the guy needed stitches. Try pinching yourself in those places as hard as you can stand it; it hurts.
14) After the initial hit, always GO for the GROIN . I know from a particularly unfortunate experience that if you slap a guy's parts it is extremely painful. You might think that you'll anger the guy and make him want to hurt you more, but the thing these rapists told our instructor is that they want a woman who will not cause a lot of trouble. Start causing trouble, and he's out of there.
I had started by kicking him in the groin. It angered him. He slammed my head into the metal frame of a bus shelter, and when I fell, he yanked my panties off. I do not remember the entire ordeal, but I was raped (I was a virgin) and sodomized. I remember the faces of the people who watched. When he was done, he flipped me over onto my back, hitting my head on the shelter again, spit in my face, and left. No one tried to help me. I finally got up and stumbled the 2 blocks to a hospital. I had to have reconstructive surgery from the violence of the attack.
THERE ARE NO RULES ABOUT WHAT WILL KEEP YOU SAFE AND WHAT WON'T!
Don't judge or make assumptions until the trial. Until you've walked in her shoes, you have no idea what has happened -- either with or without drugs, with or without her permission.
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