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Old 10-31-2001, 12:32 PM
Zepher22 Zepher22 is offline
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Join Date: Aug 2001
Posts: 15
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Hi, while I'm not in any greek letter organization yet, your post really hit home for me.
I, too, used to be one that "hated females" and preferred guy friends any day. I had taken a few negative situations in my past (like my best female friend of eight years totally dissing the hell out of me in middle school) and had blown things way out of proportion. I then began to analyze other people's female friendships. I witnessed plenty of back stabbing and gossiping and I used to say to myself, "I could NEVER have a female best friend"
Then I started to look at male friendships. Needless to say, males do forgive each other faster than females forgive other females. And needless to say, when a male meets another male for the very first time, there is a minimal amount of the head-to-toe look over and the "evil eye" as I like to call it... But men have a whole 'nother set of problems to deal with in their relationships... like if a dude is not "hard" enough, he may get dissed. A male virgin is practically ostracized by other males as opposed to the "Hmmm, that's interesting" other females say when acquainted with a female who is a virgin.
Of course, these are all generalities. But I learned that all relationships, regardless of the sex of the other person, requires give an take. What also changed my mind was a girl I met freshman year in college that totally understood me, and to this day we are very tight.
I think your friend just needs to experience more in life... meet new people... and take that scary first step of actually TRYING to make friends with, and understand, other females. By her wishing to join a female organization, this may be her way of indirectly attempting this feat. She may actually be tired of saying, "I hate females, and females are shady," and wants to experience positive friendships with people of the same sex.
Perhaps you should have a heart to heart with her and ask her (in a non-threatening way) what are her motives for wanting to join this organization. As a senior in college, I can honestly say I felt EXACTLY the way your friend does when I was a sophomore. Miracles can happen in two years when you experience new things and remove yourself from old environments. Honestly, a deep-seated hatred of any sex will not get you very far in life. If your friend wants to be successful in this world (and I assume she does since she is pursuing higher education) an objective view of individuals is a must. I think her motives for joining this organization, just may be the right vehicle for this change to occur for her. Again, have a serious talk with her. Her "I hate females" attitude may just be shell covering something deeper.
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