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Originally posted by 33girl
I had fun sisterly moments that involved alcohol. I also had fun sisterly moments that didn't involve alcohol.
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33girl....exactly my point. Not every single moment you have with your chapter (or with other chapters) has to include alcohol in order to bond and have a good time. I hear more and more students host dry events "because we HAVE to" or "because it looks good on our Standards/5 Star/Whatever Plan"...not "because it will be fun."
My point is that some students seem afraid to plan an event and show up sober because they fear that they won't have fun. Often they have a great time, but they can't see that they will have a great time beforehand. Apparently it's not cool to admit that you can have fun without alcohol anymore (whether you are greek or not)...and that's a shame.
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To say your bonds aren't "real" or "true" if alcohol is involved is pretty darned presumptuous and arrogant. That's kind of like the people on here who say they can't understand how there's real sisterhood when your chapter has so many members/so few members/doesn't have a house etc etc.
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I'm saying that if every single (and I mean
every single) time you interact with your brothers/sisters (outside of chapter business meetings) involves alcohol consumption, then the bond isn't complete without alcohol present. Remove alcohol, and the relationship changes. I've seen alums come back to Homecoming events, make a 30 minute appearance, and then disappear to drink with their old drinking buddies. Very little interaction with anyone outside of their original partying group, and even then they are focused on how soon they can get to the bars. I'm sure you've seen 2 or 3 (or more) people who are best friends, but do nothing but drink together. And you've seen people who are best friends, but do all sorts of activities together. It's just a different relationship. I know...I've experienced it. I've had "drinking buddies" and I've had best friends...and they aren't the same relationship.
From my first post:
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The bonds of brotherhood and sisterhood are made by enjoying each other and being real with each other...that doesn't happen with alcohol on board. I'd challenge ANY chapter who promotes that they have a true, solid brotherhood/sisterhood bond, but who plans every event around alcohol (either by having alcohol at the event or by the whole chapter arriving at a dry event drunk) to explain to me exactly how they built such a strong brotherhood/sisterhood. (I'll bet they describe events/situations that don't involve alcohol, thereby proving that they CAN interact without alcohol on board)
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My point with the above paragraph (it sounds like it wasn't clear) is to use a little "reverse psychology" on these groups. If they keep saying "No one will come if they can't drink" "It won't be fun if we can't drink" "We'll just drink beforehand so we'll have a good time", then I'd turn the question around and ask them how they became so very close to their brothers/sisters. 99% of the time they will talk about situations or events they experienced with each other when alcohol wasn't present...
which proves the point that they CAN socialize and have fun without alcohol. Sometimes you have to reframe the situation before they'll "get it" and make changes (or quit complaining about the rules!
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Don't get me wrong...I had some great times with my fellow Greeks when alcohol was present. But we had some great times completely sober too. It seems like ALL college students these days can't see the great times they have when sober. THAT is what bothers me.
Overall I think it's a student developmental issue...but it's one that GLO's can address by giving members the opportunity to enjoy themselves without alcohol. We've just got to get them to see it first.
DISCLAIMER: I'm not saying that the above attitudes are GLOBAL...some individuals/groups/campsuses don't have the above issues. I'm not assuming that every single college student falls into the above categories. Take what works, leave the rest).
PsychTau