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Humor in uniform
ALWAYS AIM TOWARDS THE ENEMY."
_ Instruction printed on US Army Rocket Launcher
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"ONCE THE PIN IS PULLED, MR. GRENADE IS NOT OUR FRIEND."
_ US Marine Corps
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"CLUSTER BOMBING FROM B-52s IS VERY, VERY ACCURATE.__THE BOMBS ARE
GUARANTEED TO ALWAYS HIT THE GROUND."
_ USAF Ammo Troop
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"IF THE ENEMY IS IN RANGE, SO ARE YOU."
_ US Army Infantry Journal
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"A SLIPPING GEAR COULD LET YOUR M203 GRENADE LAUNCHER FIRE WHEN YOU LEAST
EXPECT IT. THAT WOULD MAKE YOU QUITE UNPOPULAR IN WHAT'S LEFT OF YOUR
UNIT."
_ US Army's Magazine of Preventive Maintenance
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"IT IS GENERALLY INADVISABLE TO EJECT DIRECTLY OVER THE AREA YOU'VE JUST
BOMBED."
_ US Air Force manual
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"TRY TO LOOK UNIMPORTANT; THE ENEMY MAY BE LOW ON AMMO."
_ US Army Infantry Journal
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"TRACERS WORK BOTH WAYS."
_ US Army Ordnance
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"FIVE-SECOND FUSES ONLY LAST THREE SECONDS."
_ US Army Infantry Journal
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"BRAVERY IS BEING THE ONLY ONE WHO KNOWS YOU'RE AFRAID."
_ David Hackworth
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"IF YOUR ATTACK IS GOING TOO WELL, YOU'RE WALKING INTO AN AMBUSH."
_ US Army Infantry Journal
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"NO COMBAT-READY UNIT HAS EVER PASSED INSPECTION."
_ Joe Gay
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"ANY SHIP CAN BE A MINESWEEPER . . ONCE."
_ Anon
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"NEVER TELL THE PLATOON SERGEANT YOU HAVE NOTHING TO DO."
Unknown Marine Recruit
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"DON'T DRAW FIRE; IT IRRITATES THE PEOPLE AROUND YOU."
_ US Army Infantry Journal
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"IF YOU SEE A BOMB TECHNICIAN RUNNING, TRY TO KEEP UP WITH HIM."
_ USAF Ammo Troop/Sad
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