[KillarneyRose]

Originally posted by alphachiohmy
by Alphachiohmy
The Greekchat Daily News

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Move over Ari Fleischer. Here comes Alphachiohmy for the positions of press secretary.

She can take care of the press conferences, news releases and all external and internal communications. She is a brilliant wordsmith and writer.

Her extensive experience includes reading the comics pages of the San Antonio Express News at age 5, potty training her puppy with issues of newspapers and using newspapers to make paper mache for greek floats. Her television experience includes watching NBC's Friends and ABC's Will and Grace.

She was also the Alpha Chi Omega Communications Chair from 1999-2000.

"I am the best person for the job," she said. "The president would be crazy not to add me to his cabinet."

In lesser important roles she has written for the St. Louis Post-Dispatch and the Southern Illinoisan. She also wrote for her college newspaper, and served as managing editor.

Reporter Alphachiohmy can be reached at alphachiohmy@aol.com.

I would like to nominate Alphachiohmy to work in President Earp's speechwriting department. Granted, her writing is a little too polished at this point for anyone to believe that the words are the President's own. But I believe that, with lots of practice and a couple of beers, she will be able to emulate President Earp's literary style to the point that the public will not be able to differentiate between speeches written by him or by her.