[FratAmerica]

MoLadyBug,

We obviously have a disconnect here.

Part of this may be because you can't compare womens and mens groups. They are totally different animals.

The other part seems to be due to what I believe is your misunderstanding of "control". Holding people accountable, does not mean that those people are being controlled! Nationals can pull a chapter's charter after they do something - but they can't control the behavior that might lead to problems. All nationals can do is educate, advertise expectations and respond. I don't think any national tries to monitor its members every move - and if they did, that wouldn't be a fraternity anymore - it would be a corporate franchise or the military.

Also, why are you hesitant to file criminal charges but are comfortable with demanding action from the HQ? All the HQ can do is respond. And with what... probation? If whatever happened to your kid is bad enough, call the cops! You don't want to "ruin an individuals life", but you want an entire chapter to be punished? I don't understand that.

And here's the other thing... maybe everything IS handeled - have you thought of that? I mean, it sounds like your kid had a falling out with the chapter. I can't believe the camping trip you're describing was that freakin' traumatic. So he didn't get along with the chapter - so what? Hey - maybe the chapter is full of a bunch of nerds... or maybe they feel your son is a nerd. So there is not a fit there - so what? It's over a done with. Do you expect HQ to ride into town and scream and yell at the entire chapter because a kid didn't like their campout?

Why don't you let your kid handle this situation on his own? I don't understand why his mom is making all these decisions. I aassume the kid is 18 or older. When do you start letting him live his own life?

I'm sure PKA wants their chapters and members to live up to standards. Where you and PKA HQ may differ is that you want a chapter punished or members "held accountable" because you didn't like your kid (and your only "evidence" of problems is a freakin' campout!).

Let him live his own life. Have him investigage, let him file charges, have him confront the chapter, or let him move on.