Honeychile,
Maybe its because you are Southern and somewhere deep down you believe in biological destiny?
That marriage and babies are such a predetermined necessity for everyone that they are in a hurry to settle down?
To elaborate, some people want to meet someone, settle down and get married. Thats a major life goal. They are poised to do that but life gets in the way.
They want to settle down, but they go to college so thats not a good time.
They want to settle down, but they go to graduate school, so thats not a good time.
They want to settle down but, the person they have been with for two years is is absolutely awful, so thats not a great time.
In this type of situation the person wants to and would have settled down if life hadn't gotten in the way.
In fact, almost every relationship is an audition for Mr. or Mrs. Happily Ever After.
If life keeps getting in the way this type of person may start questioning their adequacy, become bitter or even a little desperate.
I think if you share this general point of view I understand why you may have your rules for ages etc.
I find this to be more of a woman's point of view than a man's. I know I am generalizing, and i can see some of you twitching to type that you are not that type of woman . . . but thats my general observation.
Maybe i am wrong and men are really the giddy ones when it comes to weddings and marriage.
I think women are generally taught that settling down and marriage is an inevitable right of passage, an end to itself in the process of life.
It seems that women know that the Big day is coming and keep trying to fit the men they are with into that Ever After role. As each man fails they go to the next man and begin the courtship steps again to find out whether he is the One.
Men seem to regard this slightly differently. Our belief that we are going to get married is generally more abstract . . much like we know we are going to die someday but we don't dwell on it.
But seriously, men are taught to go out with girls they like and to only think about marriage when an extraordinary girl makes them think about it.
I think that a sutble but important difference. Women are looking to get maried and trying to find a man to fit that role. Men are looking for companionship, and if that role (marriage) develops then it does.
Oddly enough, the majority of men I know that got married, got married because they were afraid of losing the woman they were with. They didn't marry them out of the great passion of wanting to spend the rest of their lives with them, but rather the fear of the pain of losing them.
I don't think many of those women actually gave ultimatums or anything, I just think that when you talk anough about the future and marriage. . . the guy generally gets the point.
Well anyway, its 4am so I am rambling.
Quote:
Originally posted by honeychile
Okay, for those of y'all who are having trouble with my over 30 remark:
If a guy has not lived on his own (not including college), lived with someone, been engaged, or such by the time he is 30, he is scary.
If a guy has not lived on his own (not including college), lived with someone, been engaged, or such by the time he is 40, then he should be avoided at all costs!!
I'm sure that there is maybe one or two really marvelous men (not guys) who would be the exception, but if you're into playing the odds, these are they.
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