[JohnsDGsweethrt]

from television w/o pity. recap of what happened last night


So the hatch is a "communo-research compound," the Dharma Initiative, the brainchild of B.F. Skinner devotees from the University of Michigan (Wolverines suck!) for studying meteorology, psychology, parapsychology, zoology (polar bears fighting!) and, um, how a man can survive when his only entertainment is Mama Cass records and old Apple II games ("GO W: You cannot go that way. SCREW THIS: I don't know how to screw"). But like drug deals in action movies, things went wrong. This hatch is Station 3, to study the island's unique electromagnetic properties. The nice scientician on the orientation film says there was an "incident" but doesn't say what it was, just explains that when the alarm sounds, the code must be entered into the computer.
Locke's all, cool! Sign me up! But Jack thinks it's all garbage, and when a stray bullet from Desmond's gun breaks the computer, Desmond takes off running, leaving the Lostaways to figure out what to do. Sayid and Hurley are brought back to the hatch, Sayid to fix the computer and Hurley hopefully not so they can set up "fat guy eats all the food in the pantry" plotlines, or "everyone thinks fat guy ate all the food in the pantry but really he didn't and everybody learns a valuable lesson" plotlines. Jack and Locke have an annoying fight about faith, with Locke insisting Jack push the button, and Jack refusing until the last moment, like that proves anything.

Michael, Jin, and Sawyer are thrown in a pit by a huge guy whose name is probably not Adebisi. Michael tries everything: "Hey!" and "Where's my boy!" and "Em City represent!" Nothing works. Girlfighter Michelle Rodriguez gets thrown in with them to gain their trust, which they do, since she's another survivor, but turns out she's helping the Adebisians.

In the flashbacks, Locke follows eight simple rules for boinking Peg Bundy, and stalks his kidney-stealing asshole of a father. It ends badly. But Locke flashbacks generally rule, and these are reliably good, but hey. You guys had me with the comb-over.