[The Cushite]

Great points everyone.

I think the real issue here is that the disproportionate poverty and discrimination in our community have resulted in people struggling to find happiness in this world, even if it means the temporary happiness that Bro. TonyB06 notes. In sociology, there is a theory that states that with high class status comes better opportunities to enjoy life and find fulfillment in life. Those opportunities are called "life chances". For some people, they can have life chances by taking vacations, taking up a hobby, reading a book, participating in civic and social gatherings, etc. Those things require a certain amount of class status. If you are poor and black, chances are that you will not have access to these types of experiences. But, the desire to gain enjoyment and fulfillment in life still remains. Some poor people find that fulfillment in conspicuous consumption or living above their means (thus having bad credit, therefore having a hard time building wealth), others find it in church (both healthy and harmful outcomes can come of this, depending on the type of church), yet others may escape in drugs and alcohol.

But I think most poor people probably find the best opportunity to find life chances by entering into sexual relationships. This may answer why these women will have sex with these men they don't deem fit to marry. The sex with the men fills a need in there lives to find enjoyment and fulfillment, although this is only fleeting. But, the temporary feel good suits most poor people just fine because they have come to value the "now" way more than the future because of a loss of hope due to a critical assessment of the type of future that they will have. Being poor in America is as good as a death sentence to most. With poverty comes lack of fiscal, social, and political "capital" that can serve to help people get those "life chances". The heart breaking thing about this is that the loss of hope sets in very early on (I have taught kids in the 3rd grade who saw themselves as 'hustlas' because they didn't think people like me were real). This hopelessness characterizes most of the choices that poor people make, thus we see choices that appear as undisciplined and hedonistic, when in reality they are just responses to hopelessness.

In our Sunday school class, we talked about how a generation of black folks could come along in 2005 that is so hopeless (I finally got them to see that it wasn't just that the kids were not as strong as we were, but that they were growing up without the community that we had). One would think that with all of the churches in our community, hope would be one of the few things that we had. But, as we see in this article, many of the things the church teaches (like Marriage and sex only in marriage) are not being valued by our young people, because they don't see the point. There is very little "hope in Zion" so to speak. We in the church are not critical enough of poverty and discrimination to show our youth that things can get better and that there is value in living a more disciplined life. Too often, the message of the black church blames the victim for their condition, which in turn breeds more hopelessness for some, and "other worldliness" in most (this is how I think retreating to the church can be harmful).

Bro. Tony B06 is correct in that the Gov. should be the last place that talks about the need to strengthen the black family, but the church probably should be the first. But, I think it will take more than a couple of sermons to make marriage more accessible to more young ppl. Like my wife likes to say, we need more practical information about relationship building, life planning, and personal development in order to make marriage more of a reality to young ppl. Our churches need to be more critical!!!

Blackwatch!!!!!!