Quote:
Originally posted by The Cushite
...Question, why is marriage declining? And Also, is advocating for people to get married good socio-economic policy, considering all of the non-scientific, non- quantifiable, non-logical:-) (the Apostle Paul called it a mystery, I believe) things that actually will make a marriage last (namely love of self and spouse, etc)? ...
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Interesting piece. I think inner-city aspirations decline, or disappear due to the weight of present circumstances. Educated folks (not merely academically but folk educated with a sense of familial-religious-cultural grounding) make choices with some sense of a future in mind. People faced with bleak choices today and little prospect for better choices tomorrow, are, over time, going to opt for immediate gratification, no matter how wrong/detrimental.
The de-coupling of the marriage/family thinking isn't surprising either, sadly. That the surveyed women saw potential mates right off the top as possibly "controlling, or demanding" forces rather than potential uplifting, stable, life-mates may, sadly, reflect the truth of their environment (somewhat). If you have the means to roll out and find something better, you may. If not, you won't, and predictably stop looking, perhaps.
Advocating marriage as good socio-economic policy? Historically the U.S. govt. isn't clean enough to open its mouth on the subject, given what it's attempted to do the black family. However, marriage is certainly "honorable" and will always resonate with most people, IMO. I think we'd do better first helping people see their cultural linkages to their past and futures, giving them a sense that they have a future (that includes strong, supportive marriages) they need to help safeguard with a variety of better present-day choices.
We often talk about the "two americas" one black, one white. But we better watch that the breach of the two "black americas" (one functioning/thriving, and the other poor and bereft of hope) doesn't widen any further. Standing in this gap is where we -- churches, frats/sororities, community, HBCUs, extended families -- all come in.