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I hate to make the same point twice but I have to reiterate - You can sell this woman's mother on the sorority thing and you will not solve the problem - the mother will only move to the next controlling thing. Frankly, I don't think there's a thing you can tell this mother anyway that will change her opinion of the sorority (her issue has nothing to do with the sorority and everything to do with control - you might as well be the chess club, that is not her point).
I know this type of parent too well (both personally, and from friends). When an individual has been raised to have her decisions questioned, and when it becomes easier to submit than challenge, the individual becomes a ticking time bomb of destruction.
I'm going to go out on a limb here, but based on past experience I am going to catagorize this NM's behavior and say:
- The NM does not have confidence in her decisions, she has a very low self esteem about her decision making ability
- She has a hard time saying no, and may have issues both with doing to much (workaholic), drinking too much, taking drugs, or seeking out sexually dangerous behavior (unprotected sex, multiple partners, etc). Or she may become anorexic or bulemic, if the elements of control extend to body image and/or food.
- If she does not already do these things, she will - this individual is like a rubber band being stretched - when it snaps it will swing wildly the other way and could be deadly destructive.
GET HER HELP NOW.
If you don't know how to help her, seek the advice of a psychologist or other advisor trained to handle these situations.
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