[aephi alum]

1. Sometimes, you have to be blunt. As KLPDaisy said, just tell her you don't think she's a good fit. Then, be sure your COB parties are invite-only going forward, and make it clear that she is not to be invited.

I speak from experience. My chapter did have "That Girl" come through during my sophomore year. She tried three times (FR and two COB weeks) to join us, but she wasn't a good fit. Finally she got the hint and focused her energies elsewhere.

2. Each PNM has her own reasons for choosing to attend the COB events she attends. She may have gone through ABC's COB week, realized they weren't for her, and decided to come check you out instead... she's not settling, she's checking out all her options. Or, she might have gone to ABC's events, liked them, not received a bid, and is now coming to you just to be in a sorority, any sorority. It's usually not hard to tell who's genuinely interested in your sorority vs. who just wants Greek letters to wear.